Related question

[ Post a Followup Message ] [ NLDline Bulletin Board ]

Posted by Karen A. Randall on January 19, 203 at 18:36:42:

In Reply to: Re: nvld posted by Debbie M. on January 19, 203 at 16:16:04:

: If there are outside influences that can be improved, it can make a difference. But for many of our kids with NLD, patient, direct, and repetitive teaching is the best strategy.

: Debbie M.

Hi Debbie,

I’ve got a related question. I know you know these issues from both sides, so you seem like a good person to ask.

My 6th grade NLD son worked VERY hard in the fall, and ended up on the honor roll. As so often happens with these kids, he’s flagging a little at this point in the year, just as the expections are going up.

His math teacher called me the other day, and said that she didn’t think he was really trying, and that he was being a little “lazy”. (oh, I hate that word!!!) She was unhappy because he didn’t remember to stay for an after school help session. This wasn’t written into his agenda, and no one had checked his agenda to notice.

Following closely on the heels of that event, she told him he had to finish a math assignment that I had modified because it was taking so long. (he could do the problems… There were just too many of them. He proved his mastery later in the week by getting an 89% on a test on the material)

She told him that since she hadn’t assigned any weekend homework, he could finish it over the weekend. (normally, if I sign off on an assignment, he is graded only on the part he has done) He responded that we were going skiing for the weekend, at which point she came down all over him about “priorities”.

Of course we were planning on coming home early enough to give him plenty of time for his school work. I know him well enough that when he made this comment, he wasn’t saying he wouldn’t do the math. He was simply concerned because he didn’t know how to schedule things. It wasn’t an issue, but he was concerned. She took it that he was trying to get out of the work.

Finally, after school one day, she sent him for extra help to another classroom, with a teacher he didn’t know, but whose class was doing the same work. She told him which classroom it was in, and sent him off on his own. Not suprisingly, he couldn’t find the room, and came home instead. I offered to take him back and help him find the room, but I think at that point he was embarrassed, and didn’t want to go. I didn’t push it. He said he didn’t think he needed the extra help on this material anyway. (as I said, he was right, as shown by his test score following all this)

According to both Robbie and the SPED teacher, this math teacher is really coming down hard on him. She even has said, half jokingly, in class several times that this is “Pick on Robbie Month”

When the teacher called me, I explained my view of what was going on. I told her that our experience with him so far was that if you pressured him too much, he just gets anxious and learns less. She told me that she thought that he was old enough that he should be taking some responsibility for this stuff, and that she thought he needed a bit of a push to do it himself.

My gut reaction is that this is a dangerous direction to go with this kid. I’d love him to continue working as hard as he did the first quarter, but I have to say, I was truly amazed by his stamina. I wondered while he was doing it whether he had the stamina to keep it up. In the past, pressure from a teacher has lead to shutting down completely. I’d rather have a kid on an even keel emotionally than one one the honor role and a basket case. Worse, I fear we could end up with a basket case AND poor grades.

Then I wonder whether the teacher is right and I AM coddling him too much. He is getting older and more capable. Maybe he does need a push?

You teach kids this age, don’t you? What do you think?

TIA,

Karen

Follow Ups:

Re: Related question Debbie M. 19:18:35 1/19/3(4)
- Re: Related question Karen A. Randall 13:39:36 1/20/3(0)
- Re: Related question Karen A. Randall 09:59:47 1/20/3(2)
  - Re: Swimming Lori McCray 16:41:41 1/20/3(1)
    - Re: Swimming kp 07:20:04 3/02/3(0)

Your Followup Message

Name:
E-Mail:

Subject:

Comments:
: : If there are outside influences that can be improved, it can make a difference. But for many of our kids with NLD, patient, direct, and repetitive teaching is the best strategy.: : Debbie M.: Hi Debbie,: I’ve got a related question. I know you know these issues from both sides, so you seem like a good person to ask.: My 6th grade NLD son worked VERY hard in the fall, and ended up on the honor roll. As so often happens with these kids, he’s flagging a little at this point in the year, just as the expections are going up. : His math teacher called me the other day, and said that she didn’t think he was really trying, and that he was being a little “lazy”. (oh, I hate that word!!!<g>) She was unhappy because he didn’t remember to stay for an after school help session. This wasn’t written into his agenda, and no one had checked his agenda to notice. : Following closely on the heels of that event, she told him he had to finish a math assignment that I had modified because it was taking so long. (he could do the problems… There were just too many of them. He proved his mastery later in the week by getting an 89% on a test on the material) : She told him that since she hadn’t assigned any weekend homework, he could finish it over the weekend. (normally, if I sign off on an assignment, he is graded only on the part he has done) He responded that we were going skiing for the weekend, at which point she came down all over him about “priorities”. : Of course we were planning on coming home early enough to give him plenty of time for his school work. I know him well enough that when he made this comment, he wasn’t saying he wouldn’t do the math. He was simply concerned because he didn’t know how to schedule things. It wasn’t an issue, but he was concerned. She took it that he was trying to get out of the work.: Finally, after school one day, she sent him for extra help to another classroom, with a teacher he didn’t know, but whose class was doing the same work. She told him which classroom it was in, and sent him off on his own. Not suprisingly, he couldn’t find the room, and came home instead. I offered to take him back and help him find the room, but I think at that point he was embarrassed, and didn’t want to go. I didn’t push it. He said he didn’t think he needed the extra help on this material anyway. (as I said, he was right, as shown by his test score following all this): According to both Robbie and the SPED teacher, this math teacher is really coming down hard on him. She even has said, half jokingly, in class several times that this is “Pick on Robbie Month”: When the teacher called me, I explained my view of what was going on. I told her that our experience with him so far was that if you pressured him too much, he just gets anxious and learns less. She told me that she thought that he was old enough that he should be taking some responsibility for this stuff, and that she thought he needed a bit of a push to do it himself. : My gut reaction is that this is a dangerous direction to go with this kid. I’d love him to continue working as hard as he did the first quarter, but I have to say, I was truly amazed by his stamina. I wondered while he was doing it whether he had the stamina to keep it up. In the past, pressure from a teacher has lead to shutting down completely. I’d rather have a kid on an even keel emotionally than one one the honor role and a basket case. Worse, I fear we could end up with a basket case AND poor grades.: Then I wonder whether the teacher is right and I AM coddling him too much. He is getting older and more capable. Maybe he does need a push?: You teach kids this age, don’t you? What do you think?: TIA,: Karen

DISCLAIMER:NLDline is designedfor educational purposes only. The contents of this website are not medical,legal, technical or therapeutic advice and must not be construed as such. Theinformation contained herein is not intended to substitute for informed professionaldiagnosis, advice or therapy. Visitors should not use this information to diagnose ortreat NLD without also consulting a qualified medical or educational professional.

Theopinions and conclusions expressed on this site are those of the authors alone and do notnecessarily reflect the views of NLDline. NLDline does not necessarily endorse any of the opinions expressed on any bulletin boards or chat lines. We reserve the right to delete messages from anyonline bulletin boards if there is offensive language or for any other reason. Inaddition, NLDline is not responsible for the identity or intentions of those individualsposting messages.

?1998 NLDline