Re: NLD / AS – feeling confused and angry

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Posted by Steve Dykstra on June 26, 203 at 17:53:30:

In Reply to: NLD / AS – feeling confused and angry posted by Deb on June 26, 203 at 15:53:47:

Deb,

I am sorry that you are experiencing such turmoil with your attempts to get an appropriate education for your son. You will probably get lots of advice and recommendations, so I will make my two cents pretty simple:

1) Unfortunately, our current IEP system in the USA pretty much requires the team to assign a diagnosis before they can say a child is or is not elligible for services. It hurst to have an incorrect label attached or to see your son as an “x” instead of an individual, developing, unique human being – your boy. But in the long run, don’t lose sleep over the IEP team’s dilemma about a diagnosis. Just let them know that you are not interested in labels, but ask them to put the (or a) label on your son so they can get on to the more important part of the IEP, deciding what will happen TOMORROW so that your son succeeds more.

2)Get the team to focus on behaviors. OK, so he does well on tests. How can we/he use those strengths to address the issues of socialization, staying on task for homework, use manipulatives for learning, improve his sensory and propioceptive abilities, etc. Ask for a run down of what skills he is expected to have upon entry to his class next year and what skills he is expected to learn by the end of the next school year. If the school staff says he can do all those things already, then ask under what conditions… completely independently or does he need guidance, cues, etc.

IEP teams often don’t do well with emotional parents, but they HAVE to answer the questions of informed parents. Hopefully, your questions will help guide the team into developing an appropriate plan for your son, not for his label.

There are differences between AS and NLD. For example, in the area of socialization, these children seem to crave social attention but their attempts to gain it are inept. The child who has Asperger’s Syndrome or autism appears to have a primary withdrawal from social interaction. The NLD child’s withdrawal is reactive, not primary. They really want friends but are not successful in the give and take of social interaction, so they withdraw. There are many other similarities and contrasts.

Hope it helps,
Steve

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: Deb,: I am sorry that you are experiencing such turmoil with your attempts to get an appropriate education for your son. You will probably get lots of advice and recommendations, so I will make my two cents pretty simple:: 1) Unfortunately, our current IEP system in the USA pretty much requires the team to assign a diagnosis before they can say a child is or is not elligible for services. It hurst to have an incorrect label attached or to see your son as an “x” instead of an individual, developing, unique human being – your boy. But in the long run, don’t lose sleep over the IEP team’s dilemma about a diagnosis. Just let them know that you are not interested in labels, but ask them to put the (or a) label on your son so they can get on to the more important part of the IEP, deciding what will happen TOMORROW so that your son succeeds more. : 2)Get the team to focus on behaviors. OK, so he does well on tests. How can we/he use those strengths to address the issues of socialization, staying on task for homework, use manipulatives for learning, improve his sensory and propioceptive abilities, etc. Ask for a run down of what skills he is expected to have upon entry to his class next year and what skills he is expected to learn by the end of the next school year. If the school staff says he can do all those things already, then ask under what conditions… completely independently or does he need guidance, cues, etc.: IEP teams often don’t do well with emotional parents, but they HAVE to answer the questions of informed parents. Hopefully, your questions will help guide the team into developing an appropriate plan for your son, not for his label.: There are differences between AS and NLD. For example, in the area of socialization, these children seem to crave social attention but their attempts to gain it are inept. The child who has Asperger’s Syndrome or autism appears to have a primary withdrawal from social interaction. The NLD child’s withdrawal is reactive, not primary. They really want friends but are not successful in the give and take of social interaction, so they withdraw. There are many other similarities and contrasts.: Hope it helps,: Steve

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